So how did I know. Well first thing that struck me was he was very concerned about my needs. He constantly checked on me to make sure I was having a good time and okay. This was not something I was used to. I came from a place where "I'm done, you're welcome" was the standard. So to have a man that was not just concerned with himself, just floored me.
The next time we were together was the same. (honestly that the standard for us now) He added additional cuddles, then he took me to the bathroom and gave be a shower. He washed my hair, he washed my body, he dried me, and redressed me. He asked questions on how he could improve. He listened to feed back and gave it. Whenever, I have told him about a need he meets it without question.
Now that I have the information I have I look back and realize I knew then he would be a good Dom. Somethings to look for, or strive for.
- He's not thinking about his wants and needs, because he fulfilling mine. Not that his aren't important. He gets a great deal of personal satisfaction from making me happy, and I him.
- He wants feedback afterwards. Good Doms know communication is very important, as are listening skills.
- He is always looking for a way to make it better.
- He makes sure all your needs are met including emotional, mental, physical.
- Aftercare, is completed and successful. More often than not we see aftercare that is what the Dom thinks the submissive needs, and not based on what the actual needs are. In example, Daddy is a bit of a machine so at times we can be active for 45 mins- 1 hour of difficult (four lotus rating karma sutra) positions. Not to mention having multiple orgasms it the equivalent of crunches (I'm not complaining) So more often than not, my body still feels Daddy after he's gone. He makes sure I have a hot bath, or shower. That I eat and drink. Last week he had to put my back in ;). He gives me massages. He makes sure it's what I need to return to baseline.
- He makes sure you're in the right space before hand. There is nothing worse than running a scene when your not in the right head space.
- He uses "We" and not "I" if he is always telling you what he wants, and your going to do that might be a red flag.
- He understands and respects boundries, and hard limits. A good Dom is never pissed at you for saying "no".
- He encourages you to grow, and be the best you!
- You're just as important to him outside the bedroom. This is important and many people forget. How he treats you outside of a scene is as important as hw he treats you in.
<3 Sally
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