Awakening the Dom.

Daddy wasn't always a Dominant when I met him he was a man that had overcome a lot. When he was younger he was overweight, around 300 lbs. He was/is shy. He found it hard to find someone to love him, and he had a hard time loving himself. He too had a difficult childhood. He felt lost and abandoned. Eventually, he met a woman and married her. She was bipolar and neurotic. The only thing that brought her joy was spending money. She treated him poorly she belittled, demeaned, ignored, and abused him. She manipulated, and controlled him. 

 She was supposed to love him. She didn't, instead for years she tore him down. She made him feel insecure, inadequate, less than enough.  He spent years trying to change himself to please her or make her love him. She spend years treating him as if he was beneath her. In the moments she allowed him near her it was on her terms, as she controlled everything even their sex life. He wasn't allowed to touch her openly in public or  in front of people. He wasn't allowed to touch her at all unless he showered first.  It always had to be dark with no one around, and he was not allowed to finish in or near her. There would be no giving or receiving oral, only the standard position was allowed. Clothes mostly on. Nothing different was allowed.  No noise was made.  He was rushed, and if he didn't preform as expected she made fun of him. She attempted to crush his spirit so he felt like he was lucky to even have her, because no one else would want him.  To be honest, she came pretty close to destroying this wonderful man. 

  We are a narrow minded society we like to think that men are strong, therefore bad things don't happen to them.  We are foolish to assume that men are not mistreated by women.  This isn't true, when a man hits a woman we think what a monster, when a woman hits a man we think "He must have done something" It's not okay. Abuse is never okay no matter who it is that is handing it out. 

Eventually, he left and we met.  From the beginning I saw the beast in him, his dominate side. He would let him out occasionally in example, he pushed me up against the wall, bit my lip, and growled in my ear. He would pull my hair a little and let go. Insecurity and self doubt always had him pulling back. He doubted himself, and his abilities. This it what another human being is capable of doing to us regardless if it is a man or a woman. Daddy, had a hard time making his needs and desires know, because he was often called weird, or flat out told no. There was no room for exploration.  His confidence was shot. 

As much as Daddy has done for me this is a story about how I helped him.  I knew I needed to build his confidence, and help him get in touch with his dominate side.  The first thing we needed was to make sure he knew how wonderful and amazing he really is. Daddy is not a lazy lover by any means. He reads books, he watches videos, he pays attention, he learns. He is always patient with me when he is teaching me something new. I make sure that I tell him that I love him, he's gorgeous, how wonderful what he does to me feels. When he doubts himself I build him up. 

Daddy needs information. He calls it "data" he's obsessive about his numbers, he needs to compare every session to the last. Adding things, taking away, collecting the data, and then re-calibrating his actions. He needs this to make sure he is doing good, and making me happy, and satisfying our sexual needs.    I make sure he has it. He wants to know how things feel, a rating of the position, how many orgasms I've had. This is how he knows exactly what is needed to give me orgasms, which is very important. In example he knows it takes exactly 50 swirls with his tongue to bring me to orgasm. It's an exact science to he made me count them once and he's right. He needs to know he did a good job, and he should know that he is absolutely amazing. Because he is. Men need to feel loved, desired, wanted, needed. This is not a woman only need. 

Though we often over look the emotional needs of men.   As I built him up he changed and became a more powerful version of himself. The dominate version of him stepped out to play with me more often.  The more I submitted the more powerful he became, and it is a glorious exchange of power. I love watching him become more confident, more powerful. I love that he gives me an order and says to me "I'm not asking" I love that he is no longer worried about being judged, or belittled.  I love that we can try anything new and there is no judgment just love.  So I want to help anyone that may be with a man that need a confidence builder. Tell him he's smart, handsome, sexy. Give him the information he needs to improve without belittling of berating him.  Show him what you like done. Allow him to be himself without judgment. Don't expect him to not have needs or feelings. Hold him, touch him often, kiss him whenever you can. People who are well loved become 10 times the person they were. With love, support, and encouragement being the dominate you meant to be is easy. 

<3 Sally