You're gonna have to get naked!

Pain, we have all felt it. The absence of a parent, the rejection of a lover, the betrayal from a person who you thought you could trust. So in an effort to protect yourself  you put up a wall. Every time someone hurts you they hand you a brick to add to the wall. Some of us are lucky to have a short wall that the right person will jump right over and take it with them. Maybe, your  pain was enough to drop you, but not cripple you. So you get up and move on, and the next person hurls themselve over that wall with ease and you skip off into the sunset 🌅. Let's take a moment to wave to those 6 people. 

For the rest of us, or for this blogs sake maybe just me. I was abandoned by my father, abused by my stepfather, given away by my mother, and then abuse some more by a lying, cheating, manipulating, womanizer. Therefore; I have erected the Great Wall. I built it with iron, I sealed it with ore. I was sure I was safe behind it and no one would every get in....safe....until you meet that person you want to let in. 

I was very apprehensive to let someone in, Daddy demanded it more than he asked. It was, and continues to be a real struggle. Being nude in front of someone is a lot easier than being naked. Please believe it is not the same thing. If you're nude they're just looking at your body. If your naked you're vulnerable. They can see your weaknesses, play on your fears, and heaven help me gain trust.  Trust is the most precious currency we have. It takes years to build and you can lose it all in a second. 

I knew I had to be naked with Daddy. There were obstacles though every once in a while I was handed a few bricks to replace the ones I had taken down. However, relationships are work if you can't do the work then you don't belong in the relationship. So I had to get naked. I had to share my pain, my trauma, my past. I had to deal with some pain that Daddy had inflicted and move on. It is not easy, when you love someone so much and they hurt you to not group them in with the others.  He is not like the others though and remembering that helped. 

Many times we wonder how we can communicate with the people we love?  When you have been burned so many times it's difficult to bring yourself near the fire.  You have to you have no choice but to strip away all the armor, stand exposed, and trust that this time you have it right. You're going to have to make the decision to trust someone, and give them the ultimate power. The power to hurt you. I know it is terrifying, and not something that can be done on day one.  The only way to have a healthy relationship is to get naked and let your partner see who you really are.